Despite having my partner there, there has been times I have felt isolated and cut off from people but I’ve been really glad to have been able to work. I work in Social Care and work has really got me through, it’s always a positive even when I’m struggling it gives me meaning and purpose. It’s so much a part of my identity and I’ve had structure and routine because of it. Having said that every client talks about Covid so it’s been a massive part of my life.
Something I have found really difficult was not being able to read a book I’ve always escaped into books, even as child but since the pandemic I have really struggled with reading, it’s not like me. It’s like I have been unable to commit to it. I’ve really missed that.
For me, the most stressful bit of it all was before lockdown happened but it was on the cards and the atmosphere in the supermarkets was palpable, the uncertainty fear and anxiety. I found the shortages, the queuing and the bulk buying really difficult.
The first 3 months of Covid and lockdown I felt the most settled, so many things that create stress just weren’t there like the travelling, the fast pace of things, the demands were taken away. No one could do anything so I didn’t feel left out or like I was missing something. It’s been good that I have not been able to see much of my mother, I grew up with her violence and have a very difficult relationship with her, the pandemic has given me a really good reason to not see her and I’ve been glad of that. In a way I’m dreading more freedoms because my mother will be really demanding and manipulative. When I have seen her I have been glad that the social distancing has been there as I don’t want her to touch me, I think because of my background I’ve quite liked the physical distance that we have had to have with people.
Something that has been really nice has been getting to know my local area, walking to little villages that are nearby that I’ve only just really discovered. I’ve kept in regular touch with certain friends on the phone, that’s really helped, having that regularity in place. I’ve started doing Jigsaws, I actually find it really immersive and mindful. I haven’t got a garden but I have a little yard and I I’ve enjoyed pottering- putting plants and solar lights out there and in the good weather I’ve spent a lot of time there. I have also felt much more connected to the house, I used to be out from 6.30am sometimes till 6.30pm with work, so I was only really at home at the weekends. I’ve gone mad with getting house plants! I’m always looking at them, pruning them and seeing how they are. Because of my long hours and with my partner working from home, he would often do the cooking, the dishes etc. but in lockdown I started to take on the washing up, I’ve found it really quite meditative and its part of my routine now, I discovered I really enjoy doing the dishes!