This pandemic has taught me to really appreciate what I have, the company I’ve had with my husband, my garden to potter in and my friends. It’s been so lovely to see the kindness of others, there has been so much generosity around. I’ve tried to help where I can and it’s been good to support friends having a rougher ride than me. I’d promised myself when it all started that I would call someone everyday but to be honest it got too hard and painful, not my friends themselves, just the relentlessness of us all living through this pandemic.
I see myself as quite a laid back person but sometimes the anxiety of it all did really get to me. I have found myself waking far too early on shopping days, I’ve felt safe at home but stepping into the world puts me on edge, especially having a husband who needs shielding. I have worried about people – my daughter who suffers from mental health problems, family members I’m sadly estranged from, that’s been hard, but I know worrying won’t help anything.
It’s been lovely to get to know my neighbours more though, checking in on them and chatting over the fence. Walks with friends keeps me going too, but it hurts to keep my distance, I miss the hugs.
God, There has been so much planning involved with everything – the rituals needed to simply go shopping, washing door handles, wiping the car down, washing all the shopping – I’ve stopped that now, the shopping that is, maybe I’ve got used to the new normal.
Crochet has really helped me; I’ve knitted a few blankets, especially through the winter months, it’s been really satisfying to see my blankets grow.
There was a window last year when the restrictions eased and we were a little freer for a bit, we took our selves away camping in Cornwall. We visited the theatre while we there, usually it’s a place for big shows with big casts but they had adapted their program to minimise the amount of people around. It was great to have space in the audience to stretch out! The performance was simplistic with a harpist having the stage to herself. She was truly spectacular, incredible; I couldn’t speak for a bit after the show. Maybe if Covid hadn’t of happened she wouldn’t have got her moment that day and I wouldn’t have got to witness it. Maybe that was the highlight of the pandemic for me – something good to remember.
I’m still constantly mindful of what we are living through and I’m so glad I’m not going through it all alone.